WWE 7/30: Perth, Australia Results
1) Zack Ryder beat Antonio Cesaro & Heath Slater – triple threat match for a shot at the United States Championship. Big “We the People” chants, Australians are pretty tired of immigrants sneaking across our borders too. Quite funny match, Slater was out of the ring for most of the match and any time he would try to get back in he would be bumped off the apron. Cesaro had a hilariously long aeroplane spin on Slater and they both sold being dizzy for quite a while including Slater falling over on the entrance ramp long after the match had finished.
2) Natalya beat Aksana. Large and creepy pop when Justin Roberts announced it’s time for the Diva’s match which was followed by a number of requests for the divas to disrobe/show various body parts. I was slightly distracted during this match as a morbidly obese woman returned to the row in front of me carrying far too much food which she distributed to her obese kids. Perth can be such a hick town. Funny moment when the rolling cat fight rolled over the referee who leaped in the air to celebrate that the divas had rolled over him.
After the match, Ryback delivered a promo by pre-recorded video, something about Australians being ignorant wallaby shaggers, bit hard to hear, the speakers weren’t that clear. Ryback was wearing a leather vest which he wasn’t wearing later on when he came out to wrestle. Come on WWE, if you are going to pre-record a promo before you come out to Australia, could you at least pay a bit more attention to continuity?
3) Great Khali beat Jinder Mahal. There was a large group of men behind me wearing turbans, they were probably wearing them for religious reasons, but I like to think they were just enthusiastic Jinder Mahal fans. Kinda sad how much trouble Khali was having just walking to the ring. After defeating Mahal, Khali summoned 5 small boys to the ring for an impromptu dance party with Justin Roberts, nothing suss.
4) Dean Ambrose defeated Zack Ryder to retain the United States Championship. I didn’t really understand why there would be a United States Championship match in Australia, but I suspended my disbelief.
Justin Roberts then came into the ring to shill all the wonderful merchandise that was on offer including photos that had been personally autographed by the Ryback. This led to the intermission, during this time some #WWEPerth tweets were displayed on the screen. Here were my favourite #WWEPerth tweets:
- @_drunkenjesus_ – Can’t wait to see Cena and Ryback pound each other in the ring!!! #WWEPerth (kinda kinky, but if that’s what you are into, good luck to you)
- @WrestlingWerkz – John Cena? Lol I could work a better match with my teddy bear. #WWEPerth
- @adololhahahah – Shout out to jack aitken!!!! Go cena!! #WWEPERTH
Riveting stuff, fan interaction at its best. Anyway, back to the show.
5) Curtis Axel defeated The Miz in a Perth Street Fight (decided by popular acclaim over a 2/3 falls match) . I didn’t think the match was a particularly authentic take on a street fight in Perth, no one had jagged broken glass rammed into their eye socket, no one punch homicides. Just some fairly tame kendo stick and chair shots until Axel got the win.
6) Daniel Bryan and Kane beat Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns w/Dean Ambrose by DQ in a WWE Tag Team Championship match. Daniel Bryan = Greatest Of All Time. Ambrose interfered to get the DQ. After the match, Bryan and Kane executed chokeslams on Rollins and Reigns. Bryan got on the mic to ask whether he or Kane had the better chokeslam. Bryan tried to chokeslam Kane with no success. Kane then tried to chokeslam Bryan, but they ended up hugging it out. Comedy gold.
7) John Cena beat Ryback in a tables match to retain the WWE Championship. Ryback cut a promo before the match where he prompted people to chant “Goldberg” before getting upset that people were chanting “Goldberg”. He said that, after winning his first WWE Championship, he planned to celebrate by having a juicy steak and then going into the middle of Perth, pulling down his pants and dumping a giant “Goldberg” right in the street.
7/29: Adelaide, Australia
1. Zack Ryder over Heath Slater. Huge heat for Slater, decent pop for Ryder. Ryder won via his finisher
2. Natalya over Aksana. Heat on Aksana and a pop for Natalya, who won via Sharpshooter, which the crowd popped huge for. Aksana tried getting on the mic but was greeted with huge YOU TAPPED OUT chants. She kinda threw a fit and stormed out. Funny stuff.
3. The Great Khali beat Jinder Mahal. Khali won via his finisher. After the match, he danced with three kids and the ring announcer.
4. Curtis Axel beat Antonio Cesaro to retain the Intercontinental Title. A super good match. Both received a pop. There were too many for my liking chanting â€˜we the people.â€™
5. Dean Ambrose beat The Miz in a Street Fight for the U.S. Championship. Another good match. It was a fansâ€™ choice, which turned out to be an Adelaide Street Fight rather than best of three falls. Ambrose won via his finisher.
6. Daniel Bryan and Kane defeated Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns by DQ in a WWE Tag Title match. The DQ was caused by Ambrose. The Shield received a mixed reaction, whereas there was a great pop for Kane and an unbelievable pop for Bryan. Good match, dodgy finish.
7. John Cena defeated Ryback in a tables match to retain the WWE Championship. The same match as their pay-per-view match. Not much to talk about. Ryback got lots of heat. He mentioned autographs and how all the kids at the airport asked him for one and he said the best part of that was watching the kids faces when he said NO! This drew major heat. Out came Cena to the pop of the night. I swear the roof was going to come off.
7/28/13 – Brisbane, Australia
Show just ended, exact same results as the Sydney show:
- Zack Ryder defeated Heath Slater.
- Natalya beat Aksana
- Great Khali beat Jinder Mahal.
- WWE US champ Dean Ambrose beat The Miz in a Sydney Street Fight.
- WWE Intercontinental champ Curtis Axel beat Antonio Cesaro.
- Team Hell No Bryan beat WWE Tag Team champs The Shield via DQ
- WWE champion John Cena beat Ryback in a Tables match.
7/27: Sydney, Australia
- Zack Ryder defeated Heath Slater. WWE may have forgotten about poor Zack but we Aussies gave him a nice response.
- Natalya beat Aksana with the Sharpshooter. OK.
- Great Khali beat Jinder Mahal. Nothing to see here.
- WWE US champ Dean Ambrose beat The Miz in a Sydney Street Fight. Ambrose was great here. Lots of weapons and fighting.
- WWE Intercontinental champ Curtis Axel beat Antonio Cesaro. This was awesome as they went over 20 minutes and gave them both time to look good.
- Team Hell No Bryan beat WWE Tag Team champs The Shield via DQ when Ambrose nailed Bryan with a chair. They tried to triple team Kane but Bryan made the comeback save and everyone hugged it out.
- WWE champion John Cena beat Ryback in a Tables match.
7/26: Melbourne, Australia
1. The Miz defeated Antonio Cessaro. This match got given around 15 minutes. A solid match to kick things off. Miz was way over as a face and Cessaro drew good heat.
2. Natalya defeated Akasana. A very poor match. It was basically rest hold after rest hold until Natalya won with a sharpshooter.
3. Great Khali defeated Jinder Mahal. A typical Khali match here. Another poor match.
Up next was the advertised Cena vs Ryback in a tables match. This led me to believe that Cena would wrestle twice in the show because Ambrose vs Bryan wouldn’t go on last.
4. John Cena defeated Ryback in a tables match to retain the WWE Championship. Cena won by the Attitude Adjustment through a table. Very entertaining match.
5. Curtis Axel defeated Zach Ryder and Heath Slater in a Triple Threat to retain the Intercontinental Title. An okay match. The tour definitely lacked depth and this showed by putting on a very random triple threat match.
6. Daniel Bryan fought U.S. Champion Dean Ambrose to a no contest. This was a fans choice match. The options were Melbourne street fight or a submission match. Of course, the street fight won. Kendo sticks and steal chairs were involved. The Shield came out and attacked Bryan, which led to Kane and Cena helping him. This led to a six-man tag team main event.
7. John Cena, Kane, and Daniel Bryan defeated The Shield. Basic tag match. Kane got the hot tag and won with a chokeslam.