(1) Brodus Clay pinned Jack Swagger. Swagger had slightly longer slick-backed hair, which is better than that goofball cut he had before he “left.” Same gimmick and everything, though.
(2) Damien Sandow pinned JTG.
(3) Divas champion Eve pinned Layla to retain the Divas Title. Better than anything from the Divas division on TV.
David Otunga came out. As he prepared to do a narcissist/Masterpiece-esque pose sequence, Michael McGuillicutty interrupted and cut a babyface promo on him.
(4) Michael McGillicutty pinned David Otunga in short order.
(5) WWE tag champions Kane & Daniel Bryan to retain the Tag Titles. Rosa was banned from ringside per the crowd vote. Boo. Typically entertaining stuff from Team Hell No, including arguments and hugs galore. They even got referee Jack Doane in on a hug with Kane, Primo, and Epico while Bryan protested “No!” Funny.
(6) Santino Marella pinned Tensai with the Cobra. Ugh, Tensai deserves better.
(7) U.S. champion Antonio Cesaro pinned Sin Cara to retain the U.S. Title. Match of the night so far. Cesaro turned some of the crowd in his favor by the finish. Kids were hot for Sin Cara, though.
(8) Ryback beat WWE champion C.M. Punk via DQ; Punk retained the WWE Title. Paul Heyman ran in and broke up a Ryback pinfall attempt, causing the DQ. There was a funny spot where Punk had Ryback up on his shoulders for the GTS and did Ryback’s march.
Post-match, Ryback hit the Shell Shock on Paul E. and then Punk to send the crowd home happy. Paul E. sold the slam after the match, being attended to by doctors and falling over several times on his way up the ramp. Overall, Punk had offense for 75 percent of the match, which allowed me to see Ryback sell. After this match, my expectations for Hell in a Cell have been raised; it should be a better-than-expected match from these two.
Best reactions of the night: Ryback and Daniel Bryan, who continues to be crazy over.
Heat magnets: Punk and Damien Sandow.